Translator Tool: Military Management Concepts into Corporate-ese
CAUTION: This is NOT a parody page - this is ground truth.
PRIORITY: LOWEST
CAVEAT: This page, while LOWEST priority, may in fact save your professional career and/or reputation.
CALL: Submit new ones!
ROE (Rules of Engagement):
Submit terms with a request for translation; OR
Submit terms with translation
Focus:
assist transitioning military members with ideas;
assist managers who recently hired a former military member with daily translations
Submissions from Veritas staff:
High Speed = *either* “smart, reliable, and hard-working;” OR “in urgent need of basic survival skills and a good mentor”
"About face! For-waaard, March!" = “You may leave now, thanks for dropping in.” Said with a tone of thinly-disguised irritation.
"Check fire" In military-speak, this means, “Stop shooting in that direction;” = Yeaaaaah, I'm gonna need you to stop talking now, so the grownups can have a discussion. That'd be greaaaaaat, thannnnks."
"I'm placing you on a 'No Talking' profile" = [see "Check Fire"]
"Spinner" = a mid-level leader who REALLY cares about the background color of a PowerPoint slide, to the point of exasperation and panic.
"Maggots" = "Those of you on the team who have recently joined us," said with a degree of slight disdain and hopeful anticipation that one or more new team member will transcend maggotry in the near term. See how much shorter “maggots” is?
“Boss, requesting updated ROE” = “Boss, I need permission to punch someone.”
This is a problem in corporate settings.
Recommended management response: “Denied.”
"Punch yourself in the face" = “Let's back up for a minute, I'd like to better understand what you mean when you say [insert dumb comment here]."
"Hot garbage" = "Let's get our heads together and do a little more work on this proposal, I have a couple ideas that may help."
"Steaming pile of hot garbage" (aka "FUBAR") = "Wow, that took an unexpected turn. Let's form a working group to figure this out before the boss gets in in the morning." See also, “Dumpster Fire.”
“OCOKA-dependent” (peer request) = “We must perform due diligence on this new geostrategic push so that we are strategically responsive to situational variables.”
In the military, OCOKA refers to Observation, Fields of Fire, Cover and Concealment, Obstacles (man-made and natural) Key Terrain, and Avenues of Approach.
See how much shorter the military version is?
“I’m seeking higher ground” = “I’m tired of getting hit from all sides - time to talk to a higher level of management.”
“AO” (Area of Operations) = whatever operational environment is implicated. Examples:
“The target AO for this technology is [regional designation, such as North America, Europe, Southwest Asia, Southeast Asia, Middle East and Africa, etc.)”
“Time for a different AO” = see “Popping Smoke.” Examples of different AOs:
“Household 6 = home (“6” = Headquarters office, or the boss of the Household, aka the Commander)
It’s beer:30” = let’s pop smoke and grab a tasty beverage made by [insert favorite beverage manufacturer here.”
“CQB” or “CQC” = “let’s step outside” (e.g., for Close Quarters Combat, or Close-Quarters Battle, if all your friends are joining); can also refer to cynically combative jargon with trusted friends, typically over pitchers of 80+-proof spirits.
“FUBAR” (Fu*ked Up Beyond All Recognition) = “This approach didn’t produce the desired results. Let’s RTB (Return To Base) and reevaluate our options.”
“That was fun” = “Nope, I didn’t like that at all. Not one bit. But here we are.”
“That was real fun” = see “FUBAR”
Submissions from industry peers:
“Squared away” = “taken care of” and can apply to people and situations.
“That team member is really squared away” = “That team member really has their stuff put together - like a machine.”
“I squared away that accounting/audit/legal matter” = “I took care of it.”
“Dumpster fire” = We need all hands on deck for a time-sensitive management request. Don’t worry about project risks to any other projects you have going on.
“Good to Go!” (aka, G2G)= “I/we’re ready for anything.” See also, “Squared Away”
“Pop smoke” = “leave the AO”
“Let me break it down to you Barney-style” = “these are the most important project considerations I want you to track and report on, in the simplest terms possible.”
